Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Ask Greg...


The Question:

I am engaged to be married to a great guy. He is kind and he loves me very much. But my parents don't like him. (Really, they don't like his job... they don't think he will make enough money.) This should be the happiest time of my life, but I am upset that my family isn't excited. Do you have any advice for me?


Greg's Response:

Bottom line, I think you have to ask yourself the question, “Do I trust my parents, and do they have my best interest at heart?” If the answer is yes, then asking them why it is they really don’t want you to marry this guy is called for. They may be seeing something you’re missing. However, if your parents have proved over the years to not be emotionally safe for you, or have proved to be overly controlling, then I suggest seeking the counsel of another adult you trust who has proven him/herself wise over time.

One other thought: if your fiancĂ© is working in a job that is below his skill level (in other words, he’s settling for less than his best), that should be at the very least a “caution flag” for your consideration. Working jobs below one’s ability, or an inability to hold down a job for any period of time, is often a sign of greater problems to come.


Greg Wells is the Director of Counseling Services at 121 Community Church and the counselor at 121 Counseling Services. An ordained minister, Greg is a graduate of Dallas Theological Seminary. He and his wife have been married for eleven years, and work together raising their two daughters. Greg counsels on variety of issues, including trauma/abuse and intimacy in marriage.

You can contact Greg directly at: counseling@121cc.com.


(Diamond ring pic by Manny Pabla; see flickr.com/photo_zoom.gne?id=363103208&size=o
for restrictions.)

Do you have a question for Greg Wells? E-mail me at: sarah@sarahonderdonk.com


1 comment:

Sarah Onderdonk said...

I think Greg gave you really good advice. I'm wondering if you've thought about also doing a pre-marriage "inventory" through a local church... where you both complete a survey (perhaps guided by a mentor couple) that's designed to surface and begin dialogue around any potential problems.

i pray you get it all sorted out.
Hug for:((((((((Anon)))))))))))))